It’s difficult to change routine.
I am not feeling the same thrill I used to a few months back.
It isn’t writer’s block. No, I won’t call it that. Writer’s block is when you can’t put your words on to paper. I do not struggle with that.
I struggle with the desire to do it. Before I even start, I end up imagining how the write-up will end up looking like. And I make myself believe I have written a hundred things like that.
There isn’t anything wrong with that. Not to my knowledge. The difficult part is making peace with the fact I put it on a blog.
So, before even I start, I am under the pressure of maintaining a certain level of creative output.
And it is becoming more and more complicated.
There are countless stories worth telling, and thousands of different literary styles to say them. Yet the most profound, the one that strikes a chord in our heart is often said with simple prose.
The same can be said for the work that we do in research labs. We don’t pride ourselves on our use of world-class equipment, or the cutting edge research articles, we pride over our simplicity.
Ockham’s razor.
When you come back home after twenty-three days, you feel almost estranged. It’s almost clichéd. Sure, we pull those long hours for our passion, but it does make you wonder.
Why are we treated like that? Like some sort of vermin that should be disposed of.
Why aren’t we allowed to be petty? Why should we hold the high ground? Why should we care for the betterment of society when it fails as every day?
It makes you question. Why the hell did we choose to study science? And that too in a country that is governed by religious extremists.
You might say I am a scientist, and that is what I should do. I should study science, and not politics. I should stay hell-bent, away from my family for weeks on end. I should be treated like a disabled, should be denied of human decency. I shouldn’t complain, and maintain a facade of false smile. After all, I’m not a writer. I shouldn’t try my hands at writing all the wrong, and misery we suffer.
I am nobody. Among the religious saviors, I’m a heretic that believes in natural evolution. Let me quote someone quotable, “No one saw an ape transforming into a human. If they had, it’d be documented. Darwin was wrong.”
You know what. Fuck everyone. Those words are of our great leader.
I shouldn’t whine about the ignorance that public lays on us. But let me ask you this, if not us, then who?
Self-preservation, that’s all.
**
